04-29-10

I feel like my first couple of weeks of motherhood is just an idea. It is a feeling I would never wish upon anyone. I feel like I haven't yet grasped the fact that I have two amazingly strong daughters. We are "Hands On" in the NICU with changing diapers, taking temperatures, and hopefully tonight bathing, but it is a weird feeling. I know I am now a mother but until I get complete access to those girls, I will have this void feeling. So far it is an odd feeling to handle. It really feels like something is missing and I am going to go out on a limb here and say...my babies at home with me.

People often ask when I am allowed to go back to work. And in all honesty, the doctors didn't tell me. Guess it is assumed that you have babies and you take maternity leave. I am once again doing things backwards. Leave it up to me to get it backwards. I will say that I can't wait to be a full-time Mom and not feel like it is a part-time position.

Last night we got to hold those precious wonders again. And yet again, it was amazing. I held Brooklyn and she just snoozed for the 2 hours I held her. Occasionally, I would feel her move her toes and it would tickle my belly. I just fell in love with her again. Richard got to hold Quinn and she played with him a bit before falling asleep. She would pull on his chest hair. She had a few surprises for him. She pooted on him! Which I find adorable for some reason. You forget they do the same things full term babies do. In my mind, they are special and not yet old enough for those things. When she was going back to her bed, he found another surprise. His shirt ended up being her diaper. She peepee'd on his shirt. She is between diaper sizes and the new ones are too big but the previous ones are too small. So I guess the way he was holding her may have caused a gap in her diaper. It was the sweetest thing...especially knowing that I changed her poopy diaper prior to him holding her. So, I probably didn't put the diaper on tight enough. But I didn't mention that to him. He didn't mind at all, anyway.

All was good with the princesses last night. Quinn is still feeding on the 12 cc of breastmilk. They haven't taken her off IV fluids yet. Brooklyn has graduated to 4 cc of breast milk. Before long she will be meaty like Quinn. Well, meaty for a premature baby. I make her sound like a chunky chick but in reality she is still just 2 lbs and 11 oz. Brooklyn is now 1 lb and 13 oz. Oh and Brooklyn got her Arterial Line removed. It was the IV that monitored her blood pressure when she decided to show out last Thursday. It further proves her stability to maintain her blood pressure.

We may get to bathe the girls tonight. Fun Fun! We get to make them scream and then hopefully calm them down. I enjoy bath night because all of their head gear is removed and you can see them...really see them and their little features.

I really pray they keep up with this good behavior. I know they will have bad days, but I don't want them to come. Honestly, what parent wants their baby to have bad days. Especially a baby that lives in the NICU.

I hope no one has read this yet...but I just got an update on the cutest girls in NICU. Quinn is up to 18cc every three hours. As long as everything goes well, her IV fluids will be stopped in a couple days. Brooklyn is now up to 5cc every three hours. All else is going good. They have the same nurse that had them yesterday for the first time. She said that Brooklyn is so funny. The nurse will "tuck" the girls in a swaddle type wrap so their arms and legs are not stretched out for a long period of time. They have to be positioned so their muscles will not develop in a stretched position. This will cause them to not be able to pull their arms together later. Anyway, the nurse said that she could not keep one of Brooklyn's legs in her swaddle. She constantly kicks her leg out and hangs it on the outside of the swaddle. She was enjoying the back and forth battle with Brooklyn. It is things like this particular story that make me wonder how stubborn my Brooklyn really is. Oh, I can't wait to bring that stubborn girl home and experience these battles for myself.