03-23-10

I didn't have an ultrasound today. I will update on any news, if there is any tomorrow. Today, I started ANOTHER pre-eclampsia test. I am not happy about it. It consists of a blood test and a 24 hour urine collection.The same test came back perfect and normal last week. The doctor said instead of two times a week he was changing the blood work to once a week. Nothing was said about the 24 hour urine collection. They decided to do the tests last week because of my diastolic in my blood pressure was higher that usual. This warranted the test and I agreed with it for elimination purposes. But everything was completely normal and they actually said my counts were really good. Therefore, why test again. I know, I know, it is precautionary.

If I weren't in the hospital, I would not be tested for this again because I would not be showing any symptoms to provoke such testing. Therefore, I feel it is a bit over kill until I warranted other symptoms signaling something is wrong. My blood pressure has been good since those couple of nights when it was a bit higher than usual. Plus, I believe Dr. Reed was not completely upfront about it because he said the blood testing would be scaled back to once a week since everything was normal. Again...nothing was said about the 24 hour urine collection.

Needless to say, I was quite upset about this issue first thing this morning and I was able to speak to my OBGYN about the situation. He started out getting on my case for my blood pressure being high again. I had to correct him and explain my BP has been good. He checked the chart and was baffled as to why I had to do the test again. I explained to him that I would not be doing the test again if everything came back normal. He agreed that it was understandable for me to feel that way and he did not see reasons for the additional testing considering the great results last week. I feel as though I need to show a sign or symptom to prompt such tests. Instead of making me worry over the things that are not present. Yes, I understand the precautionary stand of the situation. However, I know my body and that has to count for something.

The doctor's office that ordered the test would not be able to speak with me until tomorrow. This has made me even more mad. But they were able to speak to the nurse and relay a message to me through the nurse. Talk to me...I have the problem with the test...talk to me. Okay, I believe I am done venting about this subject.

Thank you for letting me vent about the situation.

On a positive note, I met one of the hospital chaplains today and she was a very pleasant lady. I believe she said that she will be leading the support group tomorrow. I look forward to the support group on Wednesdays. It is good to meet other women that are in the same and most likely worse situation as I am. Many people can remind me of the good reasons I am doing this and staying here instead of opting for home rest. But hearing it from other women on the high risk hall, makes it more surreal. Because they actually understand the day to day things you go through and the feelings that you have in relation to being here. Although support from people on the "outside" is important and helpful, it means more coming from those that are experiencing the same things you are experiencing in "jail."

Then you have people on the outside worrying about me and I can't understand their feelings completely. So it works both ways. I get a little sad when I see people leave...yes, I watch my guests leave from my window.

I truly believe in my heart that these babies will possess a quality that their mother does not...patience. I believe God gave them this quality knowing they needed to be fighters. This wonderful gift of patience will keep them baking until they are fully ready to meet us. I have faith that everything will be good. I aim to take these babies home with me when I leave. For that to happen, I need to go full term. I need to keep faith and patience.

I would rather be here 12 weeks instead of my babies living in box with tubes hooked up to them. Not to mention they would be here for longer than me. I will find the patience so they do not have to struggle to survive in NICU.

Richard wants me to watch TV with him. So I will call it a night. And he says "HELLO!" Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. And if you are in Winder, drop by the house and feed that boy before he turns into a slice of pizza. It seems that pizza is all he eats nowadays.