03-22-10

Too start things off...SQUEAKY SHOES NURSE walked in my room today. She is my nurse today. JOY!!!! Now I need to figure a polite way to tell her to check her ears because there is no way she doesn't hear her shoes squeak with every step she takes. Maybe it is her way of announcing her presence. I guess that if I don't need her throughout the day...maybe I wont hear her squeaky shoes. I know some of you probably think I am exaggerating. But I have pointed it out to all my guests when she walks and they have confirmed it is loud and annoying.

Richard and I had the opportunity to speak with a NeoNatal doctor yesterday. The words out of his mouth were enough to make you cross your legs and keep these babies under wraps for a long long time. I guess I needed to hear the things these babies will go through if they were born early. It really helped to know the bad things and helped put more perspective on the importance of me being here. Even though it is a daily struggle for me to stay in the hospital, it would be more of a struggle for these babies to survive if they were born early. I just want to be able to take them home with me when I leave. He offered a field trip to the neo-natal unit to see the babies and understand what they have to do to keep them alive.

The ultrasound this morning was a bit nerve racking. The ultrasound shows a graph of sorts to show the blood flow in the umbilical cord. It looks like a roller coaster on a track. The roller coaster goes to a high peak and then comes down and elevates just before the line (track). Then it goes back up. Basically, it looks like a bunch of lumps on a line that are connected at the bottom and don't quite hit the bottom line. Well that is a normal doppler. Myrtle's doppler isn't connected at the bottom. It is just a lump with a space and then another lump. The space is considered the absent blood flow. The roller coaster would fall off the track with her.

Well, I have always been told that if you follow the roller coaster and it goes below the track line and then back up...that is reverse flow. Reverse flow is what we DO NOT want to happen. Well, I saw that this morning. I was waiting for Daisy to say it was worse. It was only happening every 5 or so lumps. She had already said that Myrtle had the hiccups. And determined that the hiccups were the cause of the doppler being below the line. If it were happening every lump, it would be considered reverse flow. So in the end, the hiccups were causing it to look bad. And we sat there and watched her stomach contract with the hiccups and correlated the hiccup with the lump below the line. Daisy was really nice and did this to ease my mind. In the end, I was better but it took a minute to accept that it was okay.

As of today, I am the only full-time or long hauler in the high risk pregnancy unit. The lady next door did actually get to go home yesterday. She was the one here for 3 months. She was really excited so I am glad she was able to go home. Hopefully, she will be good and those twin boys will be born healthy.

Richard spent the afternoon and night with me on Saturday. I needed some quality time with that boy. And it was the absolute best. Toby got to come see me yesterday. All of the nurses and techs kept saying that he was such a big dog. All I have told them is that he is a small dog. I guess they don't know about labs, boxers, great danes, German shepherds, etc. Toby Mac is a short squatty little dog.

I hope this will be a good week. I really need time to start flying by so it feels easier. I need to be able to take care of my husband and doggy. I feel somewhat lost being here and not having the ability to make sure of things at home. But we are handling it as best as we can. In the end, it will be for the best reasons on earth.

Before I forget, for all of you trying to "fatten" me up. You will be happy to know that I am slowly but surely gaining the 3 lbs I lost in the first week being here. Mondays are weigh in days and I gained back 1.9 lbs. So I am trying. But you can keep the outside food coming. It is a nice break from the not so delicious and appetizing hospital food.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughtful messages. We really appreciate it and are very thankful to have people that care so much.